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A Weekend Thread

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Punter, Oct 7, 2011.

  1. Kegman

    Kegman Moderator

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    2,440
    Funny you should mention gin but had one on saturday. Was golfing at a charity event and one of my team produced g&t's on the 10th hole. Small minatures which held about a double but to make it interesting he had ripped the labels off so you didn't know what 'flavoured' gin you got.

    I got the normal gin but one of them was fucking bouffing. Looked like piss and tasted of turps. 3 out of the 4 of us thought this but one of the guys loved it.

    Pick up the pager tomorrow for 2 weeks but on the lash a week on Sat as I'm going to watch the Solheim Cup at Gleneagles. Bit of a cunt as trains from town are cancelled due to work on the big tunnel entering Edinburgh waverley so it looks like we need to get a lift at about 5am so will be early dark for me......zzzzzźzz
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  2. slick

    slick Administrator

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    11,729
    Nowt planned for this weekend, just a pity it's an International one as I have time to burn so have fcuk all to get up for lol.

    My Daughter asked before is it ok to bring her boyfriends parents dogs round for the weekend as his parents are going away for the weekend. So it looks like I'll be dog sitting, they've been here before and like most dogs do they take a shine to me and never give me a minutes fcuking peace while everybody else in the house goes about their usual business.

    I don't mind it though as they're both Jack Russell's and remind me of my old dog who died a couple of years ago, all lunatics but individual characters who like to test their boundaries lol.

    I have the ace up my sleeve though, a tub of salted peanuts at the side of me, they'd do triple somersaults with pike to get their choppers round one, all I have to do when they get out of hand is rattle the tub and within a second I have two Mother Theresa's sat the side of me:lol
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  3. Kegman

    Kegman Moderator

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    That's brilliant Slick.

    Guy i work with has just started breeding snakes and had his first batch of 6 babies so i said i wanted to see them so when i popped round his jack russel yipped like fuck. Followed me around the house yipping all the time but as all it wanted was clapped. As soon as started clapping it - i had a new best friend even although it still yipped.

    I've mentioned before I've never owned a dog but when I retire I think it'll be one of the first things I do.
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  4. ONEDUNME

    ONEDUNME Administrator

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    Fucking hell, a forum full of dog whisperers:lol
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  5. slick

    slick Administrator

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    11,729
    Aye, once you befriend a Jack Keggers you'll have a friend for life and they don't forget, you could turn up a few years later and it'll treat you like an old lost mate.

    Had a bit of aggro yesterday with an Amazon driver who chapped the door wanting to drop off three parcels I had ordered.
    I chucked the dogs out of the back as they were barking like fcuk and answered the front door.

    The delivery driver said 'Hi' I've got some parcels here for you do you have any ID?

    I said 'ID'? I've just opened the fcuking front door you thick cnut, he said but I need ID.

    I said I'll tell you what, take your parcels and fcuk off!!

    He said 'hold a moment and let me check'.

    Then goes on to tell me one of the parcels is 'age restricted' and I have to prove my age with a photo ID:lol
    I'm presuming one of the parcels was the ecig atomisers I had ordered unless Moans is ordering stuff behind my back:lol

    I said who are the parcels for? and he read the parcels then said my name.

    So I said do I fcuking look 16? doing theatrical gestures towards my face.
    He didn't even flinch just saying 'I need Id'
    I said take the parcels and fcuk off
    he said I can give you two of them.

    I said fcuk off and take the fcuking lot with you, you stupid cnut, so he packed up and went, me following him down the drive telling him to shove them up his arse.

    I admit to doing a lot of fcuking and blinding but the silly bastard drove me to it and I could have actually done with those other two parcels as they were for an oil change on my car lol

    After all that pallava I got in touch with Amazon and they said the drivers right as it's their policy:eek
    Even asking old cnuts like me for ID.
    I've never had that shit before and won't take it in future telling them to close my account, knowing they won't and I'll probably still use them in the future as next day delivery does come in handy.

    I can see where they are coming from with age restrictions but fcuk me a bit of common sense should be applied when you can see the person receiving a parcel is nearly a fcuking pensioner.
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  6. ONEDUNME

    ONEDUNME Administrator

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    ...and a nasty swearing near-pensioner at that:lol
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  7. Punter

    Punter Moderator

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    7,414
    :lol
    Some policies are unbelievable . Poor driver :lol


    I've got a well earned week off, this week :)

    The mrs just asked me what i was going to do with it. I said ' I've got one or two jobs to do, but i'm only working 10 till 12 this week. I've the house to myself, so i guess lots of racing, lots of wanking'.

    She just gone upstairs now with a look of disbelief and disappointment in me.

    Supposed to be sunny this week, isn't it? I could be in a beer garden by midday :beer
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  8. rcgills

    rcgills Moderator

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    Whatever you do, don't combine the wanking with the beer garden :lol
    Have a good week off :wank:beer
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  9. Punter

    Punter Moderator

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    :lol

    Wish i'd of read this before i went to the pub :embarassed
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  10. Punter

    Punter Moderator

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    7,414
    Off out for a few pints of the black stuff and to show a few locals how to play pool.

    Have a good one :beer
    slick likes this.
  11. Kegman

    Kegman Moderator

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    Working tomorrow so quiet night tonight but not golfing till Sunday afternoon (normally play early in morning) so will be having a few pints tomorrow.

    Ger Lyons and Buffer Zone to win the Ayr Gold Cup will make it a good weekend. Also Chelsea pumping Liverpool on Sunday would do as well but I can't see it. If Sheff Utd can score 2 and Man Ure 4 then doesn't look promising.

    :beer
    slick likes this.
  12. ONEDUNME

    ONEDUNME Administrator

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    Off to Liverpool Saturday to Monday. Weather looks promising
  13. slick

    slick Administrator

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    11,729
    Had today off because I really need to get to my ladders in the garage but can''t because it's full of wood.
    Beamer trimmed a tree back for me last year, well I say trimmed but he basically gave an eighty foot cherry tree a skinhead.
    It doesn't look like much wood when it's flapping about in the sky but once cut and on the ground it could have filled an articulated lorry.

    I was chopping it for weeks and putting what I could in the brown bin but the big bits I put in the garage, there was that many 'big bits' it filled the cnut up in no time.

    I've a wood burner so thought it'll eventually come in handy lol once it's seasoned but in the meantime I couldn't get to anything else in the garage.

    It's come to the stage now that I've put off that many jobs this year due to my garage being full of wood I can't put them off any longer b4 the dark nights draw in, and with the weather forecast being good this weekend it's become now or never.
  14. ONEDUNME

    ONEDUNME Administrator

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    10,619
    I never realised you can’t just burn it straight away. Seasoned? You learn something every day

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