Eurovision 2019 Betting

Slovenia: Sebi (Never throw tins in the green bin)



If anything I'm expecting another ballad here as Slovenia usually do.

Well it is sort of, it's a ballady duet by the look of it.
She's a strange looking fcuker ain't she, she looks like the pod has just opened after a 3 million light year trip to the next galaxy.

If it's a love song then he's not interested love, probably cause he's your brother by the looks of it.

Serbia: Kruna (Another slate has fallen from the roof)



I'm expecting some rock here so let's see.

Well that's the rock bit out of the window,
Sounds a bit like the Albanian one.

Wow, she's a bit high pitched, good job I've got my cheap ear buds in.
Nah!! these are like the UK of Eastern Europe, trying way to hard to impress and coming up with shite.
No chance.

Belarus: Like It



Don't know what to expect here...

Sounds modern which is a plus, ehhm quite jiggy lets get with it.

They need to lay off the 'like it' every 5 seconds but apart from that it's not bad.

By the time it finished it sounded more like an advert than a song so a no from me.

I'm going to reverse them now as I'm going brain numb.

Netherlands: Arcade



Lets see what the fuss is about....

I'm not impressed tell the truth.
If this was the UK it would be out of the betting.

Jezza help me , what's good about this?

is the the 'aaaaarrhhhss' in between the lyrics?

Have I got the right song because that was nothing special.

The only thing it's got going for it is the intro that's been nicked from another song.

Australia: Zero Gravity



Looking forward to this because the Aussies usually like to try something different...

Initial thoughts... Kate Bush.

Next thoughts... Kate Bush

Last Thoughts.... Kate Bush with a bit of opera.

Well the Aussies didn't let me down as that was certainly different apart from Kate Bush lol.

My favourite so far, way ahead of the Netherlands imo.

Sweden: Too late for love



Going off the title obviously a love song I reckon...

Yip another ballad with an intro that seems very popular this Eurovision.
Similar to the UK entry but a lot more polished.

Of the ballads it's the best I've heard so far.
It's going on my shortlist along with the Aussies and Estonia

Switzerland: She Got Me



I'm getting tired now but I'll carry on for the cause

Another cnut who loves himself by the looks of it.
Sounds a bit Turkyish to me, reminds me of 'Kiss'

I like this, it's the only one that's ticked all the bells so far as Eurovision goes.

Numero uno for me up to now.

Azerbaijan: Truth



Don't know what to expect here....

Looks like a couple of ABB 1200 robots to me but I could be wrong.

Nah, like a poor mans George Michael that's stuck on one chord, you keep expecting him to go higher but he never does.

Surprised it's so far up in the betting tell the truth.

Russia: Scream



Russia goes either one or two way's, Nationalistic or extreme, lets see what this year brings....

Rather middle of the road this year it seems with a rather screaming rendition of scream lol.
No chance with this, if the bloke singing could actually scream then it would have been a lot more interesting.
He's screaming but not screaming if u know what I mean as he can't hit those notes.

Another with no chance imo

Italy: Soldi (don't leave your grapes In vinegar overnight)



Italy usually have as much chance as the UK so let's see.....

Mahmood is doing a lot better than our entry, it's original albeit not spectacular.
It's another that never get's out of second gear, with a bit of ooomph added it would have promise, but as it is it'll be lucky to reach top 10.

Iceland: Hatrið Mun Sigra (Chuck another blanket on the bed)



Apart from Bjork what else do we have to go off, let's see.....

Hey up, very Techno!!
He sounds like Moans when she first started the ecigs.

I like this as it's original, very very original.
This could do well, very very well, in fact i love is because it's so strange.

I'm impressed I'm going to listen to it again, this time without typing.

I can imagine this being played in one of those sex dens Komp used to harp on about.

I was just about to jump all over this song but then realised the female lead sounds very weak towards the end amongst that bass, the male Lead though has nailed it.

This is gonna be like marmite but it's definitely on my shortlist.

France: Roi (Pass me the nuts)



Usually a vert artistic entry so lets see what this year brings....

WTF!! Is that a Downs syndrome Ballet dancer and Trans sexual singer.
If so then belting and more artistic than I ever expected, If not accept my most sincere apologies, I blame my specs falling down the back of the sofa and I'm too pissed to dig them out.

If everything is what I think I see then it might get points for novelty value but it's not for me.

i'm going downhill fast here without my specs, I can't even see who's next lol, hard to imagine 5 yrs ago I had 20/ &%keke vision lol, old age is a bastard.

Norway: Spirit in the sky



Specs found and were back in business.

I associate Norway with all things nice......

Fcuk me another male ballad.
Hold up a chicks popped up now we've got a duet.

wtf has he got on, it's like going out with Howson on a Friday night.

Now we've got a mad monk singing and trying to yodel.

If anybody votes for that they must be on spice.

Malta: Chameleon



Malta, this should be interesting, Greek or Turkish this year?

Ehhm, seems like neither, spanish with a wee touch of Turkish at most.

Can't make this one out, has potential but doesn't convince me, just a typical Eurovision song that offer nothing.

Mid table if it's lucky.

Spain: La Venda (The salad spinner)



Let's hope for some Mediterranean Salsa or the like......

Well at least it sounds Spanish which is a good start.
Oh yes, that's what I'm looking for some good Hispanic beat and rhythm.

Not a great song but true to it's roots which is what the Eurovision is about imo, might not be a winner but should be top 10.

Cyprus: Replay



Ditto Malta.....

Very Shakira'ish, old hat or not? that is the question,

I like this but I'm afraid it might sound dated, I'll give it he benefit of the doubt though because the majority of the songs this year have been gash.

Another for the top 10,

Greece: Better love



I'm done now, can't take much more lol...

I like this, thought we were in a Greek Orthodox Church when it started but now we're back on stage.

Nah, it's remained at the same level, just needs a bit of viva viva vooom.

I'd say it's punching way below it's weight mind and will finish higher than those odds suggest.

North Macedonia: proud



Quite a nice song, hard to believe it's 10 million/1

Truthfully it's not the worst I've heard tonight but it's a bit of a droner.