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Happy New Year

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by slick, Dec 31, 2013.

  1. slick

    slick Administrator

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    10,754
    Happy new year all.
    I take it most of us are off out soon , so take care and have a gud un.

    I'm off to the local social club down the road, never been there before and don't know any fcuker in there lol but me and moans thought we'd give it ago because going to the local boozer has become a bit boring.
    Not cheap either at £12 quid a ticket so I'm hoping for that price there's a glass of champers and a three course meal thrown in too.
  2. slick

    slick Administrator

    Messages:
    10,754
    Wearing a whistle tonight for the first time in about 20 yrs, in fact the last time I wore one was when getting married.

    There's a foreign student in work who couldn't believe I didn't have a suit, I thought nothing of it until he returned from a visit to his homeland with a top of the range 'Next' suit for me.
    I didn't want to take it but he insisted I take it as a gift so I did lol, I thought nothing of it until I brought it home and the misses started questioning me about it saying 'nobody buy's another fella a suit for a present', I couldn't make out whether she thought I was turning queer or had another woman:lol

    My motto is never look a gift horse in the mouth so fcuk it I kept it, fit's like a glove too apart from the crutch nearly touching my knees ( a bit Al Capon'ey) but for nowt I can't grumble.
    Punter likes this.
  3. ONEDUNME

    ONEDUNME Administrator

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    10,077
    Hope you're wearing it tonight Slick. GANGNAM STYLE!
    Punter likes this.
  4. swooperman

    swooperman Resident nob

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    3,096
    Have a good one, y'all :)
  5. winrew

    winrew GILF

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    2,034
    Yep , all the best Gents ..:)
  6. Seen

    Seen Moderator

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    3,328
    I've just had a soft-boiled egg with dippy soldiers. Was lovely. I live a right hedonistic lifestyle, me :embarassed

    It's almost 1am and I'm wide awake. It must be that nana nap I had at 7 o'clock :sleep

    Happy New Year, motherfuckers!
    Punter likes this.
  7. ONEDUNME

    ONEDUNME Administrator

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    10,077
    Off to bed. HNY all
  8. Punter

    Punter Moderator

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    7,009
    Happy New Year all :beer
  9. Kegman

    Kegman Moderator

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    2,286
    All the best everybody. Relatively quiet night last night. Been for a round of golf this morning and out to the locsl legion thus afternoon for a right go on it. Plan is to ho back to one of my pals to play and watch the darts.

    have a good one
  10. slick

    slick Administrator

    Messages:
    10,754
    Didn't turn out to be a bad night after all, I felt a bit of a dick in a suit but once I had a few pints down me I managed to settle down and socialise.

    Not a bad way to get to know people really just buying two tickets and not knowing where you're going to end up, we ended up in the middle of a table with decent folk either side and had a good laugh for most of the night, just a pity the same couldn't be said of the comedian who was the first turn, saying that I had only been in the place for 10 mins; saw him dying a death so went outside with moans for a smoke , The chairman thought we were leaving and followed us out lol.
    In the conversation that followed I mentioned it's wrong to put a comedian on first when hardly any fcuker's had a drink, It would have been wiser to have singer/comedian/singer like most clubs do and a bit of bingo and open the box in the middle like most social clubs do.

    He agreed, said it wasn't up to him and looked relieved he hadn't lost the chance of signing up a new member, I told him I had no intention of disappearing and have every intention of supporting the local community (it's the sort of person I am:thumb).

    So I went back in, missed the bingo in the meantime much to my tables dismay after they learnt I had bought some tickets unbeknown to me, ( tell the truth I just a bought a brown envelope full of stuff for £4 quid when I first entered the joint), on my return to the table the local residents emptied my envelope pointing out my bingo tickets:embarassed
    Next was 'open the box', again I didn't have any tickets until the residents on the table to my left dug into my brown envelope and dug them out, ever felt a silly cnut for no reason of your own?, this was one of those occasions.

    'Open the box' numbers are then read out and you've guessed it 'your's truely' has them, I raise my hand and then a woman 'from the left hand table' whips my ticket away no doubt thinking she's dealing with an imbocile and fcuk's off onto the dance floor waving it above her head.

    B4 I have chance to say 'hold on' her fella say's 'don't worry son, she'll do it for you!'
    Before I have chance to take all this in the compare say's pick a number between 1 and 12, I shout out '7' and she say's '?' because I didn't hear what she said, then the numbers roll..........roll..and...roll........until they stop on '8'.

    I'm thinking that's me fcuked and then the woman who took my ticket starts dancing about, she had only picked number number 8 lol.

    Big decision time for me now though, do I be a cnut and take the lot or share the spoils.
    No brainer for me really, In a new place where I have every intention of returning; I split the proceeds 50/50 thus putting down a marker for the future.

    The winnings were only £100 split two ways but with the leverage that brings it could be a good investment, they couldn't wait to sign me up. Which I've still to do.
  11. Punter

    Punter Moderator

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    7,009
    I pictured you in Dibley at this point Slick. "No No no no no...yes!

    That £100 win was fixed btw. You better support that club now or the community will be out for ya!

    I've been back at work for two days now. earlies 6 till 2, which was a bit cuntish i thought. I was ran raggied on the first day and twice as bad today. I didn't turn up till 8.15 this morning though, slept like a baby, 2hrs 15 minutes late, that's about 15 minutes before the department boss turns up.

    I didn't say fuck all, all morning to him unless it was work related and i couldn'r suss out whether i'd been grassed up or not. Either way, i was going to make the hours up and had arranged with the mrs to pick me up at 4.15 instead of 2.

    At 10 past 2 he approached me..

    "what the fuck are you still doing here?"
    "I was a bit late today boss, we're busy, so i'm making the time up"
    "when was you planning on telling me"
    "I wasn't"
    "why not"
    We're busy, and i couldn't be doing with the fucking shouting"
    "How late?"
    "7.00, but i've told the mrs to pick me up at 4.15, so i'm giving you an hour and 15 for free"!
    "You're a fucking liar, you didn't get here till 8.15, dont make a habit of it!"
    "sorry boss" lol

    I did apologize again when i left later on, said it wouldn't happen again, blaming it on "a christmas thing"?? :unsure

    I think my days are numbered long run though and taking a pay cut to work in a bookies before i'm sacked looks increasingly possible this year..
  12. slick

    slick Administrator

    Messages:
    10,754
    Tell the truth I was under the Impression it was fixed too Punt lol.
    But to be fair like I said to all around I'm usually lucky early doors, I'll go in somewhere and win but that's the last of it, I could go there for the next 20 yrs and win fcuk all again, I'm the same in comps or anything new I do.

    By the way, Some cnut has grassed you up, can't be doing with that sort of shite but it seems to be getting more common, I remember the 80's when our direct gaffer used to cover for us going for a pint but nowadays every fcuker's frightened to death to go for a sneaky early brew never mind chancing the boozer, it's not that I'm not up for it but the other 90% of the workforce are shite houses and willing to tell tales to make themselves look good , I've never known anything quite like it.
    People are being paid less than ever but are willing to sell their soul for a pat on the back, what a load of soft shallow cnut's we have become.
    I hope the Romanians and Bulgarians aren't like that.
  13. Punter

    Punter Moderator

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    7,009
    The 80's were a great time to work, well early 80's, you could have a laugh then, fire hose people down in the summer without getting in trouble, get called in the boss's office for a tot of whiskey at the end of the year as a thank you etc.
    It's all fucking hairnets and silly bollocks these days. No wonder the youth dont want to work.
  14. swooperman

    swooperman Resident nob

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    3,096
    It's a grassing time fair enough. Give you an example, drink driving. Now we're all of a similar-ish age (bar Winrew :unsure) & I'm not defending it in the slightest as it's a crime against humanity these days (unless you're North Korean & your uncle runs the country :eek) but we've all done it, but now it's positively encouraged to shop a drink driver!! Would never have happened in my day, Arkwright
  15. slick

    slick Administrator

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    10,754
    We used to be encouraged to drink so the company you kept got a free Joe baxi home, I'm not proud about it but I never caused any harm and never thought I was likely too, If it got to the stage I thought I couldn't drive I wouldn't simple as.
    3,4 or 5 pints is not a problem but even so these days I adhere to the law because it's just not worth it.
  16. Punter

    Punter Moderator

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    7,009
    Tbh, i dont blame them for grassing me yesterday as it's like over 2 hrs that they had to work for that i didn't. Fair enough.
    It's when they grass you for being 5 minutes late, that you think bunch of cnuts.

    Is that right that the police are paying you to grass drink drivers up these days? I heard this over Christmas, £100 for a conviction i was told?
  17. swooperman

    swooperman Resident nob

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    3,096
    Yep it's right, big campaign over xmas. Why, you gonna trawl the Malvern pubs now to boost your gambling fund :lol
  18. Punter

    Punter Moderator

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    7,009
    :lol

    No not me Swoop' i know a couple of doley's that are sitting in 'spoons all afternoon doing it though. Thought they were having me on at first.
  19. ONEDUNME

    ONEDUNME Administrator

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    10,077


    Well that explains why my brother bought me a drink the tight cunt:rant
    slick likes this.
  20. swooperman

    swooperman Resident nob

    Messages:
    3,096
    :lol It would certainly explain why he b ought the 2nd round as well

    I'm not sure whether it's my misplaced loyalties or whatever but I see the grassing as worse than the original decision to drive. Probably just me & the age I live in, but I'm not defending drink driving. safe to say, Punt, you couldn't be accused of it thinking about it. No phone

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