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The 'I want to see my dick again before i die' thread......

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by swooperman, Jan 1, 2012.

  1. swooperman

    swooperman Resident nob

    Messages:
    3,089
    This thread is going to involve insanity, gross indecency, disturbing images both mental, physical, implied & actual.
    It is going to involve one mans struggle against nature, time, age & the measuring tape.
    It is a thread that should, in all honesty, have been started some years ago.
    Probably the closest thing to komp outside of Komps mind.

    Follow & read at your peril

    You have been warned
  2. Yorkieacer

    Yorkieacer BEST GAMBLER IN WORLD

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    2,257
    Erm....
  3. swooperman

    swooperman Resident nob

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    3,089
    Better put an age limit on it as well :unsure

    yorkie, fuck off, mentally you'll never qualify :lol
  4. swooperman

    swooperman Resident nob

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    3,089
    The idea is to shame myself to lose weight, whilst having a few laughs along the way.
    you lot will be laughing, i won't :ohwell

    I turn 40 in march. I'm still playing 1st team cricket & would at least like to do that this season as that would be an achievement many others haven't managed. I've taken 143 1st team wickets in the last 5 seasons, I want 180 in 6. Thats my goal, no one else is close to me in my club.
    I've mentioned before the cricket club curse. 7 dead in 12 years, 4 under 40. Hard to say it hasnt occurred to me :unsure
    Not sure physical health has anything to do with being published, but it can't hurt.
    old mans just retired & they're going on a round the world cruise on jan 8th for 35 days. It would be nice for there to be a noticeable difference by their return.

    So, obviously I have mirrors in the house, but i reckon I haven't seen my dick for a few years (unaroused obviously, nobodys seen it aroused for a few years :lol :unsure) Its not the biggest which doesnt help matters, but its big enough when it needs to be.....
    Not drinking much anyway. giving up sugar, carbs, bread, got my study set up with my gym in it, not planning on doing too much gym, just repping in 'inspiration breaks'

    Doctors last thursday. feeling tired, cant shift a cough, etc. New doctor, says 'hop on the scales, I'm gonna nag you'......cheers, bud, now I remember why I don't come very often :lol anyway, blood tests next thursday. i put the tiredness down to the aussies, either that or the curse :ohwell

    Anyway, the embarassment factor starts here:

    (well it would do if I could work out how to get a photo off my email onto here)
  5. swooperman

    swooperman Resident nob

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    3,089
    [​IMG]
  6. traeth

    traeth Moderator

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    1,687
    30 minutes and I still can't see the image or is your cock that small!

    good luck with your weight loss mate , I'm in a similar situation , I have occasional pain in my knee , inherited from my rugby playing days , went to see my doc , my usual doctor was not available and the female replacement had me go on the scales.
    She said that I should come back in three months after I had lost some weight , I can't argue with her analysis as she was much slimmer than I , whilst my usual doctor is a plump ex rugby player would probably have been more sympathetic.
  7. ThunderCelt

    ThunderCelt National League Punter

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    1,511
    I can't see it either. From the number of views this thread has had already I'd guess there are several of us waiting not too patiently :unsure
  8. Seen

    Seen Moderator

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    3,268
    Come on you fat cunt, get a pic of your little cock posted up :wank:naughty
  9. swooperman

    swooperman Resident nob

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    3,089
    are you saying you cant see the pic, or the cock? :thinking The whole point of the thread is that I cant see the cock as I've taken the photo from my pov you thick bastards :lol

    It has occurred to me that if I lose weight i might need a crash course in photoshop :unsure
  10. swooperman

    swooperman Resident nob

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    3,089
    You're right, checked on my other computer :unsure Hold on.......
  11. swooperman

    swooperman Resident nob

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    3,089
    Haven't worked it out yet, but whilst bumbling around, for some reason this photo reminded me of Seen:

    [​IMG]
  12. Punter

    Punter Moderator

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    6,833
    Good luck Swoop' ..stick with it :thumb
  13. Seen

    Seen Moderator

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    3,268
    I guess I'm the pervert watching, huh? :naughty
  14. swooperman

    swooperman Resident nob

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    3,089
    Am I sticking with the idea of the thread, Punt, or me trying to post the picture that proves I can't see my cock :unsure
  15. ONEDUNME

    ONEDUNME Administrator

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    9,869
    Good luck Swoops. I'm booking a cruise this summer (after the euro's obviously) and I could well do with losing a stone.

    Obviously I can reduce my intake but I ain't pounding the streets in this weather. I do a fair bit of walking which doesn't do anything to reduce my waistline, despite claims that it's the best way to lose weight after sex - by "after sex"I don't mean going for a walk after a shag before anyone gets pedantic :lol

    Like Traeth, Im starting to feel an aching in my left knee from my footballing days. I'm not saying it's as bad as his and it's off and on but years of running full pelt and launching into slide tackles (remember them?) on all surfaces was bound to tell eventually.

    The main thing I need to do is reduce the beer intake. I binge drink on a Saturday which is probably the worst thing I could do. I can cut down on the food intake but any suggestions on a doable exercise regime (preferably 45 minutes per day or less) would be appreciated. Are those stepper machine things any good? I could do that whilst watching the footy.

    Anyway, I'll follow this thread with interest and give you all the encouragement I can you fat fucker (that was the first one for free:thumb)
  16. ONEDUNME

    ONEDUNME Administrator

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    9,869
    or you could just buy a mirror
  17. swooperman

    swooperman Resident nob

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    3,089
    Already touched on that point :unsure

    Bit of a clear the decks day today, trying to get rid of a bit of stuff in the fridge, so had a bit of an 'all in chinese' :unsure
    Still got some pasta in there, bbe 22/1, & some mince pies :ohwell

    Went shopping, bought a load of veg.....shit loads in fact. No bread in the house now, thats the way forward. Did actually bizarrely feel thinner earlier, jeans felt looser :thinking maybe I've split them? Hadnt eaten much the previous 2 days though.

    Got those acai berry pills with green tea, not started them yet, makes your shit stink from what I can remember. Also bought some vitamins, downside there being I used to have them on toast.....,.
  18. Punter

    Punter Moderator

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    6,833
    What and it doesnt normally? Lavender arse.
  19. Punter

    Punter Moderator

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    6,833
    Sandwiches wont be the same without any bread in the house either.
  20. swooperman

    swooperman Resident nob

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    3,089
    no Punt, i mean really stink :unsure bit like yours after 12 days on the piss this time of the year :lol

    Just remembered got given 5 packs of top jolly bacon off a supplier :unsure I say given, he gave me one, took the rest :lol

    Freezer

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